Protective...

I remember reading on other blogs of mothers feeling so protective of their children once they received their referral.

Well... I get it now.

Last night, I tossed and turned and dreamed of our precious daughter. My heart would pound as I thought about something happening to her and I wouldn't be there. I read a heart-wrenching post recently about a family who had received a referral and then shortly after was "un-matched" with their child due to a miscommunication between the Korean and US agency. The child they had been referred had already been accepted in a domestic Korean adoption. My heart weeped for this family. I have no idea how I would cope with news like that. I believe I would grieve as if I had physically lost a child. It tore at my heart. My stomach lay in knots as I thought of my dear daughter. My heartstrings are so connected to this little girl around the world. Yet, I feel so helpless. She's halfway around the world, and I'm here. When I lay my head down at night, she is just waking up and starting the day. When we are eating lunch, she is perhaps laying her head down on her foster mother's arm and getting ready for bed. My heart aches when I think that everyday is a day away from her. What is she doing? What is she eating? Is she napping? Is she playing? Is she crying? Is she laughing? I miss her so much...

In my heart, I am so grateful to the foster parents for raising and loving our little Adelyn. They are selflessly giving their hearts and souls to loving our daughter for us. We owe them so much. I just hope... no... I NEED these next few months to go by quickly so I can hold her and love her for myself too...