Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Korea's UnWed Mothers

I found this post on one of the adoption blogs I read (Seon-Mi-Kyung) and Kim, who is a Korean adoptee herself, talked about some startling facts regarding Korea's unwed mothers. It really broke my heart as I realized just what a heavy burden our daughter's birth mother must be carrying and facing. I had always realized that in Korean culture, there is a huge social stigma which prevents many mothers from being able to care for their babies as single parents. I just never realized how bad it was. This is what she writes in her post...

Families whose unmarried daughters become pregnant sometimes move to conceal the pregnancy. Unwed mothers often lie about their marital status for fear they will be evicted by landlords and their children ostracized at school. Only about a quarter of South Koreans are willing to have a close relationship with an unwed mother as a coworker or neighbor, according to a recent survey by the government-financed Korean Women’s Development Institute.

Kim continues to comment on a book she is reading- "I Wish for You a Beautiful Life: Letters from the Korean Birth Mothers of Ae Ran Won to Their Children"...

Many (mothers) opt for their children to be adopted outside of Korea, for fear that if they are adopted domestically, and it is ever found out, the child may face severe scrutiny.

Many say that because they are disowned by their family, abandoned by their significant other, and have no other financial means of supporting themselves, because, most employers won't hire a single mother and many babysitters won't care for children of single parents, and there is little support from the government, they have no other choice but to give up their child.

Kim also states...

In 2007, 7,774 babies were born out of wedlock in South Korea, 1.6 percent of all births. (In the United States, nearly 40 percent of babies born in 2007 had unmarried mothers, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.) Nearly 96 percent of unwed pregnant women in South Korea choose abortion, according to the Ministry for Health, Welfare and Family Affairs.

I just can't begin to imagine the desperation a young mother must feel... having to make this choice. I am so proud that our daughter's birth mother was strong enough to give life to her daughter- our daughter. I wish it were different. I wish there was a system in place to help the unwed mothers of Korea. I wish our daughter could have remained with her birth mother. But I am also so thankful her mother chose life for her. 96% of women in Korea choose abortion. 96%. If over 7,000 babies were born in 2007, can you imagine how many thousands were never given that chance? My heart grieves when I think about the babies that have been killed. Babies that were innocent, wanted and loved by desperate mothers caught in desperate situations. My heart is heavy tonight. It grieves for the heartbreak our birth mother carries with her. My heart breaks for the children that have no homes or were never given a chance to find ones.

Dear God, I pray that you wrap your heavenly arms around the mothers and babies in Korea. Give them life. Give them peace. Give them comfort. Give them your love. Take care of our daughter tonight. Take care of her mother. Give her mother strength and courage to face the days ahead. Thank you for giving our daughter life.

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