The Sacrifice of being a Foster Mom...

I have been following the amazing journey of another adoptive family (Five Princesses Blog) who were in Korea last week and are finally holding their baby girl that they have been waiting and praying for. It is an emotional post to read... almost like witnessing childbirth- with all of the pain, anxiety, love and intense joy of meeting your child for the first time. Heartfelt and amazing.

But through all of the excitement of finally becoming a mother to that child that you have ached for and loved for so long... there is another mother who is grieving and broken hearted. This is the story of being a foster mother. A woman who gives everything she has to love and care for a child that she knows will be taken from her. These women are so amazing and so strong. They love with the same intensity that any mother does. And they do it for as long as they need to until that child is delivered into their forever family. It is not an easy road to travel. Karen (Five Princesses Blog) is an exceptional writer and I think she captured perfectly the sacrifice that these women make. Here is an excerpt from her blog:

This is a picture of two women that I do not know their names, I only saw their faces but briefly, yet I can tell you in a minute that I know their hearts, and they are some of the strongest most selfless women on this planet. They are foster mothers.

Today we had the VERY GREAT honor of being with a special family that we have met here from Alabama. Today they met their daughter for the first time and she is now forever in their arms. We were able to be there in the room to feel the excitement, the hair on our arms was electric while having goosebumps all at the same time. The most amazing part of the experience for me as well was that (we) were there to witness and experience every second. (We) had a front seat to being in the delivery room of an adoptive Mum. It is a sacred place, holier to me than any church, for this I believe is where God is most pleased as He sees the orphans embraced through His people...

Today, as I watched... I saw two women meet for the first time, that both would instantly give up their lives for this little girl. They are worlds apart, languages apart, cultures and customs apart, but they share the heart of a mother. They embraced and the tears just flowed down their faces.

I can't even put into words the uniqueness of the moment. As questions were asked and answers were given, you could sense the upcoming separation for the foster mother and the sadness on her face, yet for the adoptive Mum there was sadness for the foster mother, but expectation, joy and peace for a time of great waiting was about to come to an end.

How do I express in words the gratitude I had for this woman?

I've seen the pictures, I've watched the videos. I can see she is a quiet woman, a tender woman, yet clearly a strong women. You could tell the love that Adah's foster mother had for her in the pictures I was given, and you could see the heartbreak in the pictures just before she let her go. It's interesting, for in Hanna's foster mother pictures, even from 6 month old, I feel like I see both in her eyes. For she knows all the pictures that have been taken of Hanna are going to the family that will have her forever. She knows going in that all of her love is going to end in a broken heart.

I have no time for the person that says to me..."Well this is what they are expected to do." In Korea, the culture is lacking greatly with their attitudes to orphans yes, but these woman are like their beacon on a hill. I said to Mark today after riding the subway and seeing how clean, efficient and modern everything is. I said how is it that their city was destroyed decades ago, but now is what seems leap years ahead of America. He talked about how war makes you stronger. These woman, I feel like their heartbreak must make them stronger.

The foster mother that we met today... had 11 foster children. 11 times I thought, her heart has been broken. She has walked this little girl through several surgeries, through different ailments, all to know that this day would come. The day she would sit across from an American Mother, and pass along the precious soul she had been caring for. And to think that within the next few days she will most likely be given another baby to start the whole process all over again. (This) little girl is not replaced at all,her spot just moves do a different place in her very large heart.

I have a sweet friend that is a foster mother in America and her strength and sacrificial love put me to shame.

This process IS CHILDBIRTH. Yet there is NO EPIDURAL. Horrific pain has to take place for a child to be born into this world, yet there is joy on the other side. The amazing most sacrificial thing with Hanna, as the other girls is that I feel like this woman is going through this pain for me. For a woman she doesn't know....and that just blows me away. Tomorrow will be her labor, as ours was leading up to this day, hers will be the opposite, but each day will bring healing.

Tonight is the last night that Hanna's foster mother cuddles in beside her.
the last night she gives her a bath, and dries all her little toesies. The last night to read her a book and tuck her in bed.
I'm sure that everything else is going to fall to the wayside. The dishes will wait, the chores will remain, because she is going to soak in every last second with her little girl. The little girl that she has rocked with, sung to, slept with and comforted. Those of you that have seen the videos of Hanna, have seen just how content she is. That is from LOVE! Unconditional Love.

Than maybe when she's asleep, she'll go back over everything that's packed. All the things that she has prepared for us to meet Hanna's needs. I'm sure she'll go to bed, thinking of everything Hanna will need for a day. She knows the things that soothe her, she knows her every need. Just stop and imagine trying to pack all the 'what if's ' up into a Big Blue Bag. It's impossible. I can only imagine she has to have a faith to do that. To trust the daughter she has raised for the past year to a family she has never met who will take them across the oceans, far from everything familiar.

So tonight as I go to bed, and I know so many of you are on pins and needles of excitement for us. Please pray for this precious woman. Pray that her heart will be comforted. I have no doubt there will be waterfalls of tears tomorrow. Pray for her husband and her two daughters that will come home from work, from school to a quiet house without a little girl. We will have joy tomorrow, we will have noise, we will have activity, but they will have stillness.

We both knew this day was coming. It is a day we have dreamed for. It started with the prayers of a little girl that prayed for a little sister, and it climaxes with us seeing our dreams come true thanks to her prayer. Two faces will be watching the miracle unfold, two mothers. One has blonde hair, and hazel eyes, they other black hair with brown eyes. Two women from separate sides of the world that will share this bond forever, the love of a girl... that changed each of our lives forever.


When I read this, I couldn't stop the tears. I think of Adelyn's foster mother often. She was an amazing woman. An amazing family. It was so evident in the videos and pictures how much they loved our daughter. The raw grief I saw on their faces on the day Adelyn was placed in our arms is something I try to forget, yet it reminds me that our girl was loved and loved fiercely. I'm convinced that they are the reason Addi has had such a smooth transition into our family. Like Karen, I will never have words to express my gratitude. All I know is that Adelyn is not only in our hearts here, but is also in another heart in another part of the world. A heart who will never forget her and never stop loving her.