Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I'm honestly beginning to think that this wait just might kill me.
Or at least make me crazy.
Just when I think I'm doing good... it hits....
Its kind of like a marathon runner who makes it almost to the end... the point where the finish line is almost within reach and then they hit the wall. That's what its beginning to feel like. I know the end is so close, but so far away too. I think I'm hitting the wall...
My daughter... my precious daughter is thousands of miles away from me!! And each day is feeling like an eternity that I'm away from her! Why can't things just go quicker???!!!
We are currently waiting for an officer at US Customs and Immigration to review and approve our I600. I'm sure its sitting on someone's desk somewhere. Do they not realize what kind of torture every single day causes? Do they not realize that each day I am stalking other adoptive family timelines and counting down potential days and weeks until we get that travel call? Do they not understand the kind of frustration and fear and anxiety that every day waiting causes? Do they not realize that this is all I think about all day, each and every minute? Do they not realize that checking my messages and e-mails and is the very first thing I do every morning... and then again every hour throughout the day?
I think it should be a requirement that anyone who has any part of the adoption process have adopted themselves. I truly believe that the adoption process would move much faster. Papers would be received, signed and returned as quickly as possible. Immigration officers would be assigned immediately and visa interviews would be scheduled as quickly as possible. If each worker, judge and secretary that ever held adoption papers in their hands had gone through this process... this wait... this agony, I really believe it would be different. Our paperwork wouldn't be shuffled onto a pile somewhere, but receive priority attention.... because they would know first hand what it feels like to.... wait. To wait and have no control. To wait and trust in other people. To wait and know it is one more day away from your precious child.
Some days I want to scream... other days cry...
But most of the time I pray and try to trust that our day is coming.
Our Master, Jesus Christ teaches us that there is a precise purpose in those long hours, days or even years of waiting. "And not only so, but let us have joy in our troubles: in the knowledge that trouble gives us the power of waiting. And waiting gives experience; and experience, hope: and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:4-5
I'm hanging on every word of this verse right now.
Or at least make me crazy.
Just when I think I'm doing good... it hits....
Its kind of like a marathon runner who makes it almost to the end... the point where the finish line is almost within reach and then they hit the wall. That's what its beginning to feel like. I know the end is so close, but so far away too. I think I'm hitting the wall...
My daughter... my precious daughter is thousands of miles away from me!! And each day is feeling like an eternity that I'm away from her! Why can't things just go quicker???!!!
We are currently waiting for an officer at US Customs and Immigration to review and approve our I600. I'm sure its sitting on someone's desk somewhere. Do they not realize what kind of torture every single day causes? Do they not realize that each day I am stalking other adoptive family timelines and counting down potential days and weeks until we get that travel call? Do they not understand the kind of frustration and fear and anxiety that every day waiting causes? Do they not realize that this is all I think about all day, each and every minute? Do they not realize that checking my messages and e-mails and is the very first thing I do every morning... and then again every hour throughout the day?
I think it should be a requirement that anyone who has any part of the adoption process have adopted themselves. I truly believe that the adoption process would move much faster. Papers would be received, signed and returned as quickly as possible. Immigration officers would be assigned immediately and visa interviews would be scheduled as quickly as possible. If each worker, judge and secretary that ever held adoption papers in their hands had gone through this process... this wait... this agony, I really believe it would be different. Our paperwork wouldn't be shuffled onto a pile somewhere, but receive priority attention.... because they would know first hand what it feels like to.... wait. To wait and have no control. To wait and trust in other people. To wait and know it is one more day away from your precious child.
Some days I want to scream... other days cry...
But most of the time I pray and try to trust that our day is coming.
Our Master, Jesus Christ teaches us that there is a precise purpose in those long hours, days or even years of waiting. "And not only so, but let us have joy in our troubles: in the knowledge that trouble gives us the power of waiting. And waiting gives experience; and experience, hope: and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:4-5
I'm hanging on every word of this verse right now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
Hang in there, Amber! You are so close! I know how difficult it is but God's timing is perfect. So, so perfect!
Post a Comment