Friday, May 20, 2011
(Written by Jeff....)
I have had some things on my mind, and was just waiting for a time to steal the computer away from my wife....so here I go...
Waiting....only waiting. This should be the motto for any adoptive family in the world. Even though we go in knowing about the wait, it never really hits you until you are deep into it. My wife....I pray for her nightly as she has really been struggling with the issue of waiting lately. Me, I am in a good spot with the wait. Granted I want my daughter home NOW, and would rather not miss any more time without her. Yet, I am at peace with it all. Sounds strange to say that, but I am, and I am the rock that I hope my wife leans on for encouragement.
I know that this might sound strange, but I cannot help but wonder what awaits us when we bring our baby girl home for the first time. And with that I cannot help but wonder whether or not she will even like me from the start. I know it is not her fault, as she will have to grieve her loss, and learn who we are and grow to love us. I know that this will not happen overnight for her, and I truly understand. Yet, this is a thought I have been struggling with lately, and to be fair I have struggled with this from the time of our referral. I can honestly say that I have loved our daughter from the very first moment that I saw her picture. I knew from that very first moment that she belonged in our family and that God had planned for all of this to happen (pretty deep thought...understanding that there is a plan for us ALL). Knowing this, I cannot help but wonder will she fall in love with us right away?? Will she feel like she belongs??
Not only is that bad enough, but then my mind wonders to my little girl...yes there is no doubt that she will have Daddy wrapped around her little finger (already does!). And I am fine with that. Yet, I am plagued by another haunting feeling...do I really know how to take care of a little girl??!! HOLY COW!!! I know I have said this before, but little girls are nothing like the rough and tumble little boys we have...she will have hair that will need to be brushed, and either put up in pig tails, a pony tail, or braided. BRAIDED!!! Then if I ever master that then there will be....heaven forbid....boys......Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...boys (although I do know some ways to keep them at bay until I am ready to let my little girl go). Then like her brothers, she will be driving, then going off to school , finding her own way in life, a career, and then......whew! So many thoughts and dreams for my little one, my little one so far from home.
I know that what I worry about will all work itself out with time. So for now there is only one constant truth in my life...that truth is...I am so eager to meet our daughter for the first time, I am so eager to begin this new chapter in our lives and begin our forever family...I am so eager to hold my little girl in my arms and just love on her as God has intended. So on that note, Adelyn...I love you little butterfly...Good night, sleep tight and know that Mommy and Daddy love you with all our hearts!
Love,
Daddy
I have had some things on my mind, and was just waiting for a time to steal the computer away from my wife....so here I go...
Waiting....only waiting. This should be the motto for any adoptive family in the world. Even though we go in knowing about the wait, it never really hits you until you are deep into it. My wife....I pray for her nightly as she has really been struggling with the issue of waiting lately. Me, I am in a good spot with the wait. Granted I want my daughter home NOW, and would rather not miss any more time without her. Yet, I am at peace with it all. Sounds strange to say that, but I am, and I am the rock that I hope my wife leans on for encouragement.
I know that this might sound strange, but I cannot help but wonder what awaits us when we bring our baby girl home for the first time. And with that I cannot help but wonder whether or not she will even like me from the start. I know it is not her fault, as she will have to grieve her loss, and learn who we are and grow to love us. I know that this will not happen overnight for her, and I truly understand. Yet, this is a thought I have been struggling with lately, and to be fair I have struggled with this from the time of our referral. I can honestly say that I have loved our daughter from the very first moment that I saw her picture. I knew from that very first moment that she belonged in our family and that God had planned for all of this to happen (pretty deep thought...understanding that there is a plan for us ALL). Knowing this, I cannot help but wonder will she fall in love with us right away?? Will she feel like she belongs??
Not only is that bad enough, but then my mind wonders to my little girl...yes there is no doubt that she will have Daddy wrapped around her little finger (already does!). And I am fine with that. Yet, I am plagued by another haunting feeling...do I really know how to take care of a little girl??!! HOLY COW!!! I know I have said this before, but little girls are nothing like the rough and tumble little boys we have...she will have hair that will need to be brushed, and either put up in pig tails, a pony tail, or braided. BRAIDED!!! Then if I ever master that then there will be....heaven forbid....boys......Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...boys (although I do know some ways to keep them at bay until I am ready to let my little girl go). Then like her brothers, she will be driving, then going off to school , finding her own way in life, a career, and then......whew! So many thoughts and dreams for my little one, my little one so far from home.
I know that what I worry about will all work itself out with time. So for now there is only one constant truth in my life...that truth is...I am so eager to meet our daughter for the first time, I am so eager to begin this new chapter in our lives and begin our forever family...I am so eager to hold my little girl in my arms and just love on her as God has intended. So on that note, Adelyn...I love you little butterfly...Good night, sleep tight and know that Mommy and Daddy love you with all our hearts!
Love,
Daddy
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2 comments:
You have WAY more self control than me...I called way to many times that I recognized all the employee's voices who work the morning staff!
Now I am getting on a first name basis was the NVC officers...I am getting out of control and I know it! :)
Amber,
I just read your comment on my blog. Thanks! I have actually been following your blog for a while, too! I am so happy to hear that you have a daughter! She is beautiful. You won't believe this, but I'm pretty sure our babies have the same outfit on in their referral photos. I can't make her pictures public with AIAA, but I'll send you an email with Han's pictures so you can compare! Pretty funny, I think!
We just got our legals today and we are mailing our I600 tomorrow, so we are a few weeks behind you in this crazy process. I'd love to chat more with you as we go through this time together.
Take care!
Kelly
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